Intently scanning the desktop screen, his pursed lips resembled a cat's pert and dainty anus

 His face looks like a cross between Ronnie Corbett and a half-eaten plate of shepherd's pie

"I know I can be a little pedantic about spelling and language, but I truly prefer the English spelling of diarrhoea, because it looks like you lost control of your vowels."

- Hugo Burnham

He's right - the American spelling (diarrhea)  is much easier to remember but it doesn't have that onamatopeia SPLAT quality

The English version of diarrhea is one of those words I can never remember how to spell correctly.

As indeed is onamatapeia (mispelled both above and differently wrongly just now)

 Woe Water

"duck fat lolly"

 "a strange joyful glitter"

" the Beatles belch out a popular song"