Royal Bottomers

 "Alexa Popworld Erasure Ointment" is likely a creative or metaphorical phrase related to pop culture commentary, possibly referring to a way of forgetting or removing something from pop culture consciousness, but it is not a real product. 

"like getting a sexually transmitted disease from a Roky Eriksson in a dream"

 My  head's in scrambles

 Boarding school for pangolins

https://africanpangolin.org/our-work/the-pangolarium/

 "soft ass lips"

"beer nerd"

 dribbly drinkers

"contains tobacco depictions"